Olivia

When I was 11, I was diagnosed with epilepsy. It quickly became clear that medication alone wouldn’t control my seizures. After months of testing, doctors determined I was a candidate for brain surgery. At first, the procedure seemed successful; I was seizure-free for two and a half years. But then the seizures returned. My seizures affected me mentally and physically, and the surgery had impacted my processing and judgment. 

My processing became much slower and affected the way I learned. I couldn’t remember certain things and took longer than other kids. I became very frustrated, and I didn’t feel normal anymore.

I didn’t know how to manage my emotions. I just shut down. All that went through my head were thoughts about suicide and self-harm. I didn’t think anything was going to get better. I told myself I was broken, unfixable. 

I attempted suicide multiple times, and no one knew about it. And I was self-harming in secret. Because I felt so much guilt about my behavior, I hid everything from my family. But one night at church, a couple shared their story about their child with epilepsy. I realized I couldn’t keep carrying the weight of my struggles alone. I finally talked to my parents. I saw a therapist and eventually was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. When my self-harming didn’t stop, my family realized that I needed something different. Then, we found Skyland Trail.

When I first arrived at Skyland Trail, I was nervous but also excited. I was desperate for something to help me. Learning new skills through Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) was really helpful. My favorite parts of the week were fitness workouts with Kevin and horticulture with Marisol. I love plants!

The hardest part of treatment was learning to accept my processing and being different than other people. My therapist helped me figure out how to set more realistic expectations and achievable goals. It was helpful to have other teens around me who were struggling so I could see I wasn’t the only one feeling “not normal.” As we worked on school work in the “learning lab,” Miss Laura helped us all realize that it was okay to work differently and at our own pace. 

One of the biggest breakthroughs was learning to communicate openly with my family. Through family therapy, I realized my parents just wanted to help. Now, I can tell them when I’m having difficult emotions or thoughts, and they know how to support me.

Today, I’m finishing my senior year of high school. I like writing poetry, drawing, and caring for my plants. Looking ahead, I hope to open a plant business and raise awareness about how chronic illness and mental health are connected. I’d like to write a memoir one day.

Before Skyland Trail, I didn’t believe I could reach any of my goals, so I didn’t put much effort into them. But now I know that I can reach my goals, so I can put my 100% into it and know that I can get there.