Navigating Holiday Stress: Parenting Strategies for Teens

The holiday season, while generally considered a time of celebration and togetherness, can exacerbate common adolescent mental health issues. To help ease the stress of the holidays for the whole family, our adolescent mental health experts compiled practical strategies for parenting adolescents during this season, especially teens with mental health challenges.

Device, Social Media, and Internet Use

While social media can serve as a tool for staying connected with friends and peers, it may also contribute to social isolation, feelings of loneliness, and disrupted sleeping patterns during the holidays. Setting boundaries with your adolescent can help establish a daily structure and minimize isolation and excessive internet usage. Limiting the times and places where social media or internet use is allowed can encourage a healthy variety of daily activities. 

Mutually Determine Boundaries and Expectations

When creating and adjusting boundaries for device use and other expectations, openly discuss what works and what doesn’t with your teen. 

“Always asking for your teen’s input is big,” says Elizabeth Ngo, LMFT, Skyland Trail Adolescent Family Therapist. “If they are bought in, the likelihood of them following through is also higher.”

For example, can you agree that a healthy boundary is that phone and device use ends at 9:30 PM? Or that sleeping past 10:30 may not be healthy? Or that each family member is expected to help in the kitchen and what does that look like specifically for the teen? Or a curfew is 9:00? Discuss together how the boundary will affect their health or their relationships with other family members. And then discuss and agree on an appropriate consequence for not meeting that expectation.

Boundaries are only effective if they are consistently enforced. To maintain effective boundaries, reinforce positive behaviors and adhere to agreed-upon expectations with rewards and praise. And model behaviors yourself that prioritize health and respect family relationships. By making expectations clear and assertively communicating while keeping the dialogue open, you can reduce power struggles.

Create a Cope Ahead Plan

Family gatherings are common during the holidays, but it’s important to consider whether certain interactions could be harmful or stressful for your teen. Have a conversation ahead of time about how you can be a source of support during challenging situations. Establish an open line of communication to build mutual trust and ensure that discussed expectations will be followed through.

Allow your teen to set boundaries about how they expect to be treated during family gatherings. Consider giving them an opportunity to talk through or “practice” how they plan to respectfully communicate those boundaries to others. And discuss in advance what their options are if family members do not respect their boundaries. What supportive role does your teen want you to play?

Schedule In-Person Social Activities

Fostering opportunities for in-person social interaction—beyond messages or video calls—can help combat feelings of isolation. The holidays are busy. Plan in advance and schedule time with family or friends on your calendar. Consider combining social opportunities with an activity that gets you out of the house and moving – a walk or bike ride in the park, a trampoline park or museum visit, bowling, or basketball at the gym. Or tap into your teen’s creativity and invite a friend over for cookie decorating or holiday card making.

Be of Service

Focusing on being of service can help us get out of our heads and shift our focus. Many nonprofit organizations have opportunities for teens to volunteer around the holidays. Find an opportunity that aligns with your teen’s interests. Find time to volunteer at a pet shelter, senior home, or food bank. Volunteer with a friend for a more social experience. Or offer to help family or neighbors with wrapping gifts, raking leaves, or dog walking.

Prioritize Self Care

Taking care of your own well-being is crucial for managing an adolescent’s mental health year-round. Self-care varies for everyone and may include dedicating time to comforting hobbies, exercising, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and other stress-relieving activities. Tailoring your self-care to meet your specific emotional and physical needs is essential.

“Here at Skyland, we encourage a very holistic approach to managing mental health because we know there is such an interconnectivity between our physical and mental health,” says Caitlin Connolly, LCSW, Director of Adolescent Clinical Services at Skyland Trail. “So how are we encouraging some of those different components, and how are we encouraging self-care as a standard?”

Asking for Help

If you or your teen are struggling to manage family or personal dynamics, consider exploring outpatient family or individual therapy. For teens experiencing acute mental health symptoms that cannot be managed with outpatient services, day treatment or residential treatment—such as the programs offered at Skyland Trail—may be a helpful next step.

For an extended discussion on teen mental health during the holidays with our adolescent licensed therapists, click here.